Naptime

Dispatch: Caller states that there is a man in front of their house sleeping on the grass. They're concerned that there might be something wrong with him, or that he's just trying to sleep.

What was your first clue?

Caller reporting a drunk driver in the Billings Heights. Driver is passed out in the car, which is parked on the sidewalk.

4 posts in a day? What's happening in this town?

Dispatch: Complainant is a truck driver parked on the side of the road. He says there's an intoxicated male who keeps banging on his window and asking him to honk his horn.

Old timey parenting

Dispatch: Respond to ADDRESS. The complainant said her 14-year-old son called her crying that his father is making him smoke an entire pack of cigarettes after he caught him smoking earlier.

Those kids are taking over around here

Officer, after being called out to investigate graffiti: Sidewalk chalk can be washed off with water. It's not graffiti.

Problem solved, it seems

Caller from Perkins is complaining that there is an intoxicated man who was refusing to leave. The man has now left the restaurant, and was last seen headed west.

At least one of them's getting some exercise

Dispatch: Respond to ADDRESS. Complainant here says there's a subject driving his truck around the neighborhood walking his dog on a leash.

I bet nobody will guess that PIN number...

Dispatch, sending an officer to a disturbance: There's a woman there standing in front of the ATM and yelling at it.

Can't have your steak and eat it, too

Caller reporting a male shoplifter at Albertson's trying to leave with a cart full of steak. The suspect has now left the cart and is running through a field behind the store.

Those parking blocks will be the death of me...

Dispatch, sending an officer to a gas station for reported gas theft: The suspect put $5 of gas into his truck and then tried to leave. He appeared very intoxicated and tried to drive over the curb and the hood popped open. He stopped and tried to leave again but didn't put the hood down. It sounds like he's having trouble getting out of the parking lot.

Would you rather he did it in your yard?

Dispatch: Respond to the area of North 17th and 2nd North. There's an intoxicated male laying in the street. He's also urinating and his pants are still partially off.

Clean up in aisle 5

Dispatch, sending an officer to a call at a grocery store: Caller says there's an intoxicated subject passed out in aisle 5.

Wee haw

A woman would like a police officer to respond to the veterinarian's office because a group of neighbor dogs attacked her dog, and her dog was also trampled by a miniature donkey.

How was this discovered, exactly?

Medical call at the Conomart for a man who has fallen off the toilet.

This is a daily happening here...

Dispatch: We've got a traffic complaint in front of the new Sonic. There's some slurpee lovers causing problems on Main Street.

Hay!

Caller is reporting a suspicious man in an alley, digging through garbage cans. When the caller told him to stop, the man waved a pitchfork at them.
The man is described as mid-40's, white, and carrying a pitchfork.

Extended stay

Medical call at the Holiday Inn Express about a woman in severe pain complaining of bed sores.

What could it be?

Dispatcher sending cop to meet guy: "Are you aware of this subject? He's the one who takes the shopping carts from Albertson's. He says he found a weapon in a cart. It's the kind of weapon that requires batteries. It's in his apartment now."

No Daycare Available?

Caller is reporting a van outside a tattoo shop with 4-5 small children inside. They have been left unattended while their mothers are inside getting tattoos.

What'd it do to make him so mad?

Dispatch: Respond to a drunk complaint in the area in front of the Crystal Lounge. Caller says there's a drunk male here trying to knock over a statue of a horse.

At least she's friendly about it

Dispatch: Caller says there's a female at this location on the overpass, possibly throwing things at cars passing by. She's got a camera in her hand and is waving at them.

Hazardous material - maybe?s

Haz-mat call downtown for a metal gas can that has something other then gas in it.

Must've forgot the mayo

Dispatch: Respond to the Albertson's on 13th for a theft. The suspect took two sandwiches and left the building and then came back. He's still on the property.

They haven't quite figured out this whole recycling thing yet

Dispatch: Respond to ADDRESS. Complainant says the people in the mobile home next to this address are burning a trash pile. They're burning it inside the mobile home and the complainant says it's making hers smell. She'd like somebody to talk to them about it.

Not an effective business strategy

Dispatch: "Respond to Albertson's on Central. Subject there is standing outside the store, begging. He's also spitting on customers' cars."

Can you turn yourself in when you haven't done anything illegal?

Dispatch: Respond to ADDRESS. We have a female on the phone who says she wants to go to jail. She said she's being belligerent and urinated on herself.

Interstate antics

Dispatch: Respond to a report of a DUI on the interstate at the King Avenue overpass. Caller said a vehicle hit the guardrail and the driver appears intoxicated. The caller said he's now standing on top of the concrete barrier and is a 20-year-old male.

Are the kids strapped in?

Dispatch: "Respond to XXXXXXXX for a service assist. The caller has locked her three children in the car. Aged 17 months to 3 years. They are not in distress."

Just being friendly

Caller is reporting an 8- to 10-year-old boy in the roundabout near the Airport carrying a backpack and waving at passing cars. The caller is worried because he is all alone.

Vigilante...with feelings

Dispatch: Respond to ADDRESS for a call from earlier. The caller says he's unhappy with the response time and said that if police don't show up soon he'll take matters into his own hands. He also started crying for some reason.

If he finished all his homework first, maybe it's okay

Dispatch: Respond to ADDRESS. Female complainant on the line says there's a young male at her house playing the Xbox. He invited some people over and is refusing to leave.

Musical Emergency

Caller complaining that there is an ambulance driving down Main Street blaring loud music from a loudspeaker, causing the caller to nearly hit another driver.

Maybe it's just a sleepover

Caller reports a 12-year-old girl in a pink hat and coat dragging a suitcase down the street. The caller is worried that she is running away from home.

Probably because of your license plate...

Dispatch: Suspect vehicle has a license plate of "Why you hatin." Plate is spelled w-h-y-u-h-8-n.

Parental tantrum alert

Caller reports seeing a woman in her 50s dragging a 5-year-old child by her hair down the street. They then got into a red Honda Pilot and drove away.

The nose knows

Woman is reporting that her dog believes there has been a murder in her house.

Never bring a snowball to a bat fight

Report of a resident throwing a snowball at a neighbor's house. The neighbor responds by throwing a bat at the resident's car. Caller indicates the bat-thrower may be intoxicated and holds a medical marijuana card.

Dude, Where's my Car?

Caller is reporting that his cousin drove him home last night because he was too intoxicated. Now, the caller cannot find his cousin or his car.

Teach your children well

Call of a shoplifter at ShopKo. She is not causing any problems, and has four kids with her

It was a run-by fruiting

Dispatch: Respond to the area of ADDRESS. Complainant says there are people throwing bananas at people's windows. She says they're also putting boards down in the street.

The mailman, perhaps?

Dispatch: Respond to ADDRESS. Caller says there's a man walking through the neighborhood putting letters in mailboxes. She said he matches the description of a man who was acting oddly in the neighborhood earlier.

I'm assuming that's not a candy cane

Caller is complaining that her 94-year-old father is trying to beat her with his cane. He has a hold of her shirt and will not let her go. He is also threatening to shoot her.

DSL (Drunk as a Second Language)

Officer responding to a call of a intoxicated man passed out in a doorway:
"I don't speak this level of drunk, but I think this man's name is ****"

The only ride he'll find is on a Hot Wheels

Dispatch: Respond to ADDRESS. Complainant says there's an intoxicated man at the daycare there asking for a ride to Lame Deer. (about 100 miles away)

Hide n' Seek

Man is calling dispatch because he can't find his van that he parked downtown last night, possibly near the Babcock Theatre.
He does have keys to the van, and an attempt to locate has been sent out for a gray Windstar van.

Hug it out

Dispatch to officer talking about a caller: "The complainant keeps hanging up on us, so we don't have any further [information]"

Officer: "Roger. Do you need a hug?"

Smoking is bad, kids

Ambulance dispatched for a woman who lit a cigarette while on oxygen and has facial burns.

Where's the beef?

Dispatch: "Respond to XXXXXXX. The complainant here said a man in a white van pulled up and offered to sell the complainant discounted meat."

Walk this way

Caller reporting that there was a 20-year-old woman walking backwards down the road. She would like her welfare checked.

Just stop and ask for directions already

Caller is reporting a male and a female in a pickup truck who are punching each other while driving. The caller would like the area checked.

That makes it easier to get her out then.

Dispatch: Respond to LOCAL BAR for a woman stuck between the building and a smoke shack.
...30-40 seconds later....
Dispatch: Caller says that there are about six people out there who tried to help her. Sounds like she's pretty stuck.
...30-40 more seconds, after firefighters arrive to help...
Firefighter: Dispatch, she's not stuck. She's just down. You can cancel Rescue 2.

Maybe it was Calvin

Caller reports that a man urinated on his car. The suspect was wearing a beige jacket, cowboy hat and blue jeans.

Doing a snow dance in his snow pants

Dispatch: Respond to ADDRESS. Complainant says there's an intoxicated male dancing around on the sidewalk in front of the house.