Hay!

Caller is reporting a suspicious man in an alley, digging through garbage cans. When the caller told him to stop, the man waved a pitchfork at them.
The man is described as mid-40's, white, and carrying a pitchfork.

Extended stay

Medical call at the Holiday Inn Express about a woman in severe pain complaining of bed sores.

What could it be?

Dispatcher sending cop to meet guy: "Are you aware of this subject? He's the one who takes the shopping carts from Albertson's. He says he found a weapon in a cart. It's the kind of weapon that requires batteries. It's in his apartment now."

No Daycare Available?

Caller is reporting a van outside a tattoo shop with 4-5 small children inside. They have been left unattended while their mothers are inside getting tattoos.

What'd it do to make him so mad?

Dispatch: Respond to a drunk complaint in the area in front of the Crystal Lounge. Caller says there's a drunk male here trying to knock over a statue of a horse.

At least she's friendly about it

Dispatch: Caller says there's a female at this location on the overpass, possibly throwing things at cars passing by. She's got a camera in her hand and is waving at them.

Hazardous material - maybe?s

Haz-mat call downtown for a metal gas can that has something other then gas in it.

Must've forgot the mayo

Dispatch: Respond to the Albertson's on 13th for a theft. The suspect took two sandwiches and left the building and then came back. He's still on the property.

They haven't quite figured out this whole recycling thing yet

Dispatch: Respond to ADDRESS. Complainant says the people in the mobile home next to this address are burning a trash pile. They're burning it inside the mobile home and the complainant says it's making hers smell. She'd like somebody to talk to them about it.

Not an effective business strategy

Dispatch: "Respond to Albertson's on Central. Subject there is standing outside the store, begging. He's also spitting on customers' cars."

Can you turn yourself in when you haven't done anything illegal?

Dispatch: Respond to ADDRESS. We have a female on the phone who says she wants to go to jail. She said she's being belligerent and urinated on herself.

Interstate antics

Dispatch: Respond to a report of a DUI on the interstate at the King Avenue overpass. Caller said a vehicle hit the guardrail and the driver appears intoxicated. The caller said he's now standing on top of the concrete barrier and is a 20-year-old male.