MacGyver's in the house

Dispatch, to an officer responding to a disturbance: Caller said the suspect is inside. There are no guns or knives in the house, but it's filled with weapons.
Officer: 10-4. What did the caller mean by "it's filled with weapons" then?
Dispatch: Caller said that it's because the house is full of stuff and the suspect will use anything as a weapon.

The legal age for that is in years, not months.

Dispatch: Medical, respond to ADDRESS. Caller says there's an 18-month-old child at this address who ate chewing tobacco.

Most wonderful time of the year...

Cop on the radio describing to other cops how to handle a search warrant: "He's liquored up and angry, so he's either going to fight or run. Or both."

Merry Christmas

Report of a fight at [address] that possibly needs a medical response. Woman is hiding in the bathroom. She is saying she used a coat hanger as a weapon.

Last minute shopping

Employee at Chuck E Cheese's is reporting that there are two children that have been left alone there for nearly an hour.

Owie!

Medical call for a 5-year-old who got into the medicine cabinet. He has some kind of ointment on his eyes and can't see.

That's the holiday giving spirit

Dispatch: Respond to the Kmart on 24th. There are three intoxicated males in the parking lot throwing shoes and other belongings at customers. They're also now getting into the trash cans there.

Somebody saves Christmas every year...

Firefighter, after responding to a report of a fire in an oven: Dispatch, we've saved the holiday cheesecake and we'll be returning to the station.

Surprise, surprise

Man is calling from Miles City reporting that his car has been stolen in Billings.
His wife took the car to Billings, and loaned it to a transient, who was supposed to have left it at the Heights Wal-Mart.
The car is not there.

I want CANDY!

Woman would like officers to respond to her location at the 3G's convenience store because her eight-year-old daughter is throwing a temper tantrum. Woman reports that the girl is stomping her feet.

Trying to defy the laws of physics

Caller is reporting that a woman in her 40's wearing a cowboy hat is standing in front of a semi truck trying to push it and is yelling at the truck driver.
Officer on scene reports that it is a confrontation after an accident that happened a few miles up the road.

Well, he certainly proved something

Dispatch: Please respond to the front entrance of Rimrock Mall. Complainant says her boyfriend is drunk and trying to prove to her that he's okay to drive home. Suspect is now driving recklessly around the parking lot.