Streaker in training?

Caller complaining that she caught her neighbor's kid chasing her daughter around with his pants down, exposing himself.

One for the road

Possible DUI call of a man in a truck with license plate "4MYSONS"
Caller saw man buy the beer, drink the beer, then get in the truck and drive away.

Like a key fob...

Dispatch: Respond to a possible drunk driver. Caller at ADDRESS said the suspect was stumbling around the parking lot blowing an air horn, then got into his pickup and left.

Serious crimes

Dispatch: Complainant says their neighbor is constantly staring at them and calling them names.

I get those two confused all the time too

Dispatch: Respond to the area of 16th and Broadwater. Complainant was driving by and said she saw a person who looks like they're having a seizure.
...about 30 seconds later...
Dispatch: The complainant has now stopped and walked up to the subject. She said it looks like they're just pulling weeds.

Hay is for horses

Caller is complaining that there is a man cutting and stealing the hay on his property. The suspect is on a red tractor with a green baler, and is possibly intoxicated.

Sitting one off

Dispatch: "Respond to Burger King on N. 27th for a female passed out on the toilet. The female is very intoxicated. She has now walked out the front door and the complainant can no longer see her."

Another helpful fella

Dispatch: We've got a drunk complaint at ADDRESS. The suspect is also the complainant. He says he's drunk and wants to be taken to jail. His girlfriend is there and says she's worried he might freak out when this happens.

I guess that makes things easy.

Dispatch: Respond to a disturbance at The Crystal (a bar). There's an intoxicated female walking around with an open container outside advising people she's going to be a handful tonight.

Green thumb?

Dispatch: Medical, respond to the intersection of Montana and N. 27th. Caller reports there's a man laying in a planter.

Uh, the point is to stay up, right?

Caller reports a motorcyclist racing up and down the street who keeps "throwing down" his bike. The caller believes he is on 4-7s [drugs].

I don't think they're the feelings police.

Dispatch: Respond no code to stage to ADDRESS. Caller says there's a male subject sitting in the parking lot crying.

Oh, and I'm sure the cops showing up will calm them right down

Caller reports that there are a man in a woman parked in a truck in the eastbound lanes of I90 "tweaking out."

Where else are you supposed to do that?

Dispatch: Please respond to the Holiday gas station. We've got a report of a man who keeps going into the bathroom and eating sandwiches. He's in the bathroom right now.

The check's in the air

DISPATCH: Respond to XXXX address for a disturbance. The complainant is at the suspect's house trying to get her son's unemployment checks. Her son's wife, the suspect, is refusing to give them to her and has thrown a rock at the complaint's truck.

Another one of those Russian spies, perhaps?

Dispatch - Area check for a suspicious male that's been hanging around the last couple of days. He has a walkie-talkie that he talks to. Description includes a black "barrette" [beret].