Snowball fight!

Dispatcher to cop: Respond to a disturbance at XXXXXXX. Complainant says the suspect was throwing snowballs at his trailer. The suspect is back in his trailer now. I'll send cover cars.

They're always adding new laws

Dispatch: Respond to XXXX for some kind of disturbance. Complainant says there's a man standing outside of his house and all he'll say is that he's 'disrespecting.'
Officer #1: 10-4. You said all the complainant said is that this guy is disrespecting?
Dispatch: Affirmative.
Officer #2: Didn't you hear? It's a new section in the Montana State Code.

Yeah, I'm sick of the cold, too

Report of a woman screaming or praying. Possibly has 2-7 (mental health) issues. Caller would like her welfare checked.

My puppy does that sometimes too

Dispatch: Respond to a drunk complaint on Central and 27th Street West. Caller says there's a drunk man stumbling down the middle of road on Central. Caller says that now he's sitting down and scooting along on his butt.

Welcome to Montana

Officer out with a stuck vehicle. It's a black Geo Prizm with California license plates.

I'd say the first one is more worrisome

Dispatch sending police to check on the welfare of a woman who can't find her children or her food.

Ready to strike.

Dispatcher: Respond to XXXXXXXX for a reported threat. Suspect may have a knife and a gun in the house, as well as a "black widow spider ready to strike."

Cop: Did you say a black widow spider?

Dispatcher: "Ready to strike."

Cop: OK. (Laughter)

Strayin' and Brayin'

Call about a donkey that is loose on the road. It possibly belongs to the people in the green house. The caller would like the area checked.

Music to patrol by

Dispatch to officer who just radioed in: Are you listening to circus music?
Officer: (chuckles) Affirmative.
Dispatch: I'm not judging you.

Getting in touch with thier wolf genes

Caller is reporting three boxers dogs on the loose in their neighborhood. They have killed a cat, and are covered in blood. The caller believes they are killing other animals as well.

Pants on fire.

Dispatch: Respond to XXXXXXXXX address. Complainant there says someone has replaced her pants with a different size. She thinks she's been burglarized. Check to see that everything is 10-38 (in other words, check to see if she's sane).

Cop: (Laughter). Obviously she's not.

Dispatch (about a minute later): She is psychotic, violent and does not like police. She has guns. That's from a 2006 report.

Put it on ice, folks

Report of a couple in an alley fighting over a freezer.