Smoking is bad, kids

Ambulance dispatched for a woman who lit a cigarette while on oxygen and has facial burns.

Where's the beef?

Dispatch: "Respond to XXXXXXX. The complainant here said a man in a white van pulled up and offered to sell the complainant discounted meat."

Walk this way

Caller reporting that there was a 20-year-old woman walking backwards down the road. She would like her welfare checked.

Just stop and ask for directions already

Caller is reporting a male and a female in a pickup truck who are punching each other while driving. The caller would like the area checked.

That makes it easier to get her out then.

Dispatch: Respond to LOCAL BAR for a woman stuck between the building and a smoke shack.
...30-40 seconds later....
Dispatch: Caller says that there are about six people out there who tried to help her. Sounds like she's pretty stuck.
...30-40 more seconds, after firefighters arrive to help...
Firefighter: Dispatch, she's not stuck. She's just down. You can cancel Rescue 2.

Maybe it was Calvin

Caller reports that a man urinated on his car. The suspect was wearing a beige jacket, cowboy hat and blue jeans.

Doing a snow dance in his snow pants

Dispatch: Respond to ADDRESS. Complainant says there's an intoxicated male dancing around on the sidewalk in front of the house.