Snowball fight!

Dispatcher to cop: Respond to a disturbance at XXXXXXX. Complainant says the suspect was throwing snowballs at his trailer. The suspect is back in his trailer now. I'll send cover cars.

They're always adding new laws

Dispatch: Respond to XXXX for some kind of disturbance. Complainant says there's a man standing outside of his house and all he'll say is that he's 'disrespecting.'
Officer #1: 10-4. You said all the complainant said is that this guy is disrespecting?
Dispatch: Affirmative.
Officer #2: Didn't you hear? It's a new section in the Montana State Code.

Yeah, I'm sick of the cold, too

Report of a woman screaming or praying. Possibly has 2-7 (mental health) issues. Caller would like her welfare checked.

My puppy does that sometimes too

Dispatch: Respond to a drunk complaint on Central and 27th Street West. Caller says there's a drunk man stumbling down the middle of road on Central. Caller says that now he's sitting down and scooting along on his butt.

Welcome to Montana

Officer out with a stuck vehicle. It's a black Geo Prizm with California license plates.

I'd say the first one is more worrisome

Dispatch sending police to check on the welfare of a woman who can't find her children or her food.

Ready to strike.

Dispatcher: Respond to XXXXXXXX for a reported threat. Suspect may have a knife and a gun in the house, as well as a "black widow spider ready to strike."

Cop: Did you say a black widow spider?

Dispatcher: "Ready to strike."

Cop: OK. (Laughter)