Merry Shmishsmush!

Caller reports a man passed out in front of the Rainbow Bar.

That's a workin' dog

"Caller reports an F-250 pickup in the parking lot with a mangy dog in the back. Caller wants a welfare check on the dog."

My girlfriend's a model in Canada. You wouldn't know her...

Montana Highway Patrol officer at a crash near the interstate: Can you send another unit out here? A truck just pulled in behind me and the driver's asking if I've seen his girlfriend, Taylor Swift. The country star. I don't really know what's going on here.

Help?

Officer, who just finished chasing down a suspect, to dispatch: Dispatch, I'm going to need somebody to secure my vehicle. I have no idea where I'm at.

Central Park

"Report of a man walking through Central Park wearing women's clothing over his regular clothes."

Five seconds later, Snowbird calls. "That just made my day. I'll be happy to take that call. Get some photographic evidence."

More on Snowbird later.

And?

"Welfare check. Caller reports a woman standing on the bridge, waving her arms and shouting wildly at traffic. She's carrying a camera and possibly a toboggan."

It's not quite Halloween

Dispatch: Caller is worried that the suspect is walking around her house doing witchcraft.

Officer: Copy. Witchcraft?

Take that!

"1240 Lorie Lane. Complainant said there's a car parked the wrong way on the street. Complainant is upset because he was ticketed for this before. Car is a white Chrysler. No further information."

Who knew?

Dispatch: There's a report of a Lamborghini or some other black sports car, occupied five times, possibly with gang members.

Officer: So it's a Lamborghini filled with Nortes?

Dispatch: Yes.

Officer: Wow. I guess crime does pay.

Living in a glass house

DISPATCH: "Caller stated that there was a car that had stopped in the parking lot, the driver got out and picked up a handful of rocks and then left. The caller doesn't want contact, just wants the area 'checked.'"

RESPONDING OFFICER: "Wow. 10-4."

We get those all the time

Reporter to dispatch: Did you guys have just one fire in the county today? I know of one, but we've taken some calls that there might've been more.

Dispatch: Yeah, it was just one. We had crews standing by ready to go to another one, but it turns out it was just some clouds.

Not quite enough info

Dispatch: We asked the complainant what race the suspect is and he said they're both 6-foot-5.

Was it edible?

"Report of a truck with food being thrown out the back."

Band on the run?

"Respond to I-94, mile marker 4 westbound, for what the caller says is numerous pieces of expensive music equipment on the side of the road and no one there. There are guitars, speakers and amps but no one on scene."

Hot August nights

Dispatch (in Aug.): We need a unit to check out the area around Fourth North and North 20th. Caller said there's an individual riding a snowmobile out there.

Gold poisoning?

"Respond to Division and Broadwater for a man passed out in the road. Gold sedan nearby."